What is grooming?

‘Grooming’ is how an abuser makes you think that it is your fault – when it isn’t. Sometimes it starts by them trying really hard to be nice to you, giving you more and more attention or buying you gifts to make you like them. When they have gained your trust and you start to depend on them, they find ways to turn the relationship into something more sexual – abusing your trust and taking advantage of you. They might use secrecy, blame, gifts and threats of violence to stop you from telling somebody. This is because they know that when you do find the courage to tell somebody, they will no longer have power or control over you.

Grooming can also happen online. 'Groomers' might try to make friends with you on social networks or other sites. They often use chat rooms pretending to be someone else - this could be someone younger, older, a different gender or different sexuality. Many 'groomers' will use profile pictures of someone else to hide their identity. It's important to think carefully about who you talk to and what personal details you share.